I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
