Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
