Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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