I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
