when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Will exercising make me less horny?