need another drink. this is the easiest way
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
