Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I will be naked everywhere
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
