kristin has been a bad kristin
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
