Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
