I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
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It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
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Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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