Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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