My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
