never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
