He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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