Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
