I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
