The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
