You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
How naked do you want me to be?
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