I need to stop coming to work sober
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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