hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
