he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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