girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
