drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
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If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
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Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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