that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
