M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
