i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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