hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
