"it" just moved
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
