I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
All the doctor said was why
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
