I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
