I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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