He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
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My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
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I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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