He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
