If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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