the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
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