haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
