she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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