I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
