he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
