You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
