i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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