Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
