Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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