i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
