i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
