Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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