Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
