We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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