The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
