Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
