yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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