Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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