Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
