why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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