doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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