is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
