my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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