just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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