Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
