Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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